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07 February 2008 @ 05:46 pm
Because this is just too damn funny and I need to share.....  
Well, apparently this needs to be chapter one of the MANual I was talking about.

"When is he going to call me?!" So many women over the years have agonized over this question that I feel it's finally time to expose the male callback formula. Like a magician revealing his secrets, I proceed knowing that I may suffer from a male backlash, but with the hope that I can help women understand what goes on in a man's head (as well as to prove that something actually does go on in there), I'm going to give you a glimpse into a man's warped mind.

(But, first, I must impress upon you that the formula I'm about to reveal is most applicable after the first date, and typically dissolves after the third or fourth. That said, read on.)

No-Call Days
To begin, most men will avoid calling on Friday or Saturday. Is it because they don't want to disturb you on your days off? Of course not. Picking the day and time to call a woman back has nothing to do with consideration. It's because they want to be perceived as being too busy on those days (even if they're just sitting around with the clicker in one hand and a beer, or something else, in the other).

It's All about the Timing
Then, understand that the average male prefers to make this call between 8:15 and 10:20 in the evening. Careful not to call right on the half-hour or hour, men will call at 8:37, 9:22, 9:41, anytime that seems like they have not been planning the call. They want to give the false impression that suddenly, on the spur of the moment, they just picked up the phone and dialed. Little do you know the painstaking hours spent thinking of the time to call, what to say, how to appear busy-popular-on-the-go-casual.

The Counting of the Days
So now you know, most calls will come Sunday through Thursday and between 8:15 and 10:20 -- and not on the half-hour or hour -- you need to learn the counting of the days. Let's say you had a good Monday night date (a major kiss goodnight, maybe even more), you could get -- at best -- a Wednesday night call. Some men will let just one day go by, but most guys will let two, possibly three, particularly if there was no overt connection made. Men will not put themselves out there so quickly if they think they may get squashed. So, the percentages say that Monday date yields a Thursday night call. Now, if Thursday goes by, you will likely have to wait until Sunday evening. If he doesn't call by then, he qualifies as an asshole (six days is too much), and it really doesn't matter. However, there are exceptions (business travel, death in the family, broken leg, insanely busy, still dating someone else, etc.), so be willing to listen.

The Chart
So, to break down the most likely scenario even more clearly:

Monday date = Wednesday, Thursday night or Sunday evening
Tuesday date = Thursday or Sunday night, maybe Monday
Wednesday date = Sunday or Monday night, possibly Tuesday
Thursday date = Sunday, Monday or Tuesday night
Friday date = Sunday through Thursday night
Saturday = Monday through Thursday, or Sunday
Sunday = Tuesday through Thursday, or Sunday of the next week

*Note that Sunday and Monday are most preferable for men, with the exception of football season, in which Tuesday is the most likely.

Now, there are some radical guys out there who will buck the trend, get crazy and call on a Saturday afternoon or a Sunday late morning. These guys are true trailblazers and should never be taken lightly. Then there are guys who will call the very next day. Warning: This does not necessarily mean that he is a great guy, nor does it mean he's obsessed, lonely or desperate; it just means he called you the next day. I know most women want the call the very next day, and it can be really nice when two people outwardly acknowledge that date number-one was great and express that the very next day. But do not rule a guy out because he waits a few days. This formula has been ingrained into his head -- it's a hard habit to break.

This was actually quite fun! I think I might continue gathering info for my own LJ version of The MANual. That is, if you guys want to read it. =D Now, any suggestions for the next chapter????

Feeling: amused
Music: Dido - Here With Me
Victoria Concordia Crescit: Mouthfularsenalamy on February 7th, 2008 11:30 pm (UTC)
I love it! I think you should definitely continue.
The one that got away...fragileheart on February 8th, 2008 07:15 pm (UTC)
Thank you!!! I'm glad you liked it. =D

I am definitely gonna continue. lol!
Molli: actresses / adrianne palickiyourgravity on February 8th, 2008 01:59 am (UTC)
LOL. This is fantastic! You SO have to continue this! Long live the MANual!

(...and I'm now staring at the screen, fascinated, because while sometimes a day goes by where we don't talk, Trevor and I normally talk at least for a few minutes, once a day. Huh.)
The one that got away...fragileheart on February 8th, 2008 07:16 pm (UTC)

I'm really excited to continue this. I'm trying to get ideas on more topics to elaborate on. I'll probably post a survey later to hear what the most common male "irks" are. =D

I'm so glad you liked it.
Kristeni_luv_stanislav on February 8th, 2008 02:35 am (UTC)
Hey, I just wanted to say happy day before your birthday :-)
The one that got away...fragileheart on February 8th, 2008 07:17 pm (UTC)
Thanks Kristen!!!

I hope you're doing well. I've missed you. ♥
Kristeni_luv_stanislav on February 8th, 2008 11:06 pm (UTC)
Yeah I'm doing pretty well, I'm just realy busy with my rehearsals for the musical.
So do you have any plans for tonight?
Lisa: Care Bearlillersblue on February 8th, 2008 03:29 am (UTC)
This is golden! Is this information all from your own "research"?
The one that got away...fragileheart on February 8th, 2008 07:18 pm (UTC)
I got it from an article on iVillage. But I think this has ignited a spark within me to continue on and write The MANual.

Any suggestions to future topics Lisi??? I know you have experience in the dating scene. LOL, you could be one of my "experts". =D
Lisa: Fluffy & Evil!lillersblue on February 9th, 2008 01:22 am (UTC)
...Maybe something along the lines of certain points made in "He's Just Not That Into You". I haven't read the book, but I know the gist of what it says.

I'll let you know if I think of anything else!
The one that got away...: F - Rachel :: Made of Awesomefragileheart on February 9th, 2008 01:27 am (UTC)
I was thinking of trying to send out the message that men are NOT the complex creatures we sometimes confuse them for. Like if you think about it, they are stupid and we are wasting OUR time trying to understand them.

I haven't read that book either. Something tells me that if I do I'll discover that all the guys I've ever dated/talked too have "just not been that into me."
ǝloɥoodoɾɥsınbssnƃıdnlɐɟɟnɯ: random; internets : hope & wonderskittlebox on February 8th, 2008 05:15 am (UTC)
lol! Definitely continue!
The one that got away...fragileheart on February 8th, 2008 07:19 pm (UTC)

Mo: actor; Natty LoLluke2 on February 8th, 2008 06:39 pm (UTC)
The one that got away...fragileheart on February 8th, 2008 07:18 pm (UTC)
lini: buffy {grin}rebelliousheart on February 8th, 2008 07:05 pm (UTC)
rofl, this is amazing. just what i needed right now*giggles* thanks for sharin!
The one that got away...fragileheart on February 8th, 2008 07:19 pm (UTC)
Thanks babe!!!!

There's more to come soon. I'm working on chapter 2 right now.
Stephanie: Smile (Lost)slybrunette on February 9th, 2008 04:07 am (UTC)
Oh, wow, this is so good! You should totally continue -- it would be wrong not to.
His girl friday: Charmed - Piper gigglecarcrash_heartz on February 9th, 2008 05:06 pm (UTC)
Girl you're crazy. This made me laugh.
Because that's how I see the universe.: Gossip Girl // Serena-Blair // OMGNOWAIwhatwas on February 9th, 2008 09:22 pm (UTC)

and very insightful into the mind of guys.... I think you've done a very good job of trying to figure out guys as it makes complete sence
❤: {stock} : random - computer friendsdanakm on February 17th, 2008 03:49 am (UTC)
LOLZ! This is awesome! Definitely continue! :D